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Once upon a time, a secretive chef dubbed "The Turk" unleashed the delivery-only Secret Kebab on the streets of Portland, maintaining that a Turkish national named Alparslan Y?lmaz was behind the outfit (and its hilarious Twitter feed, featuring mangled English sentences). Portland Monthly now reveals that chef John Goddard (of the Luka pop-ups) was behind the brand, often cooking up kebabs in "shaky" situations. "At one point, he says, he walked up to an empty, foreclosed-upon house in Northeast Portland and opened the door." [PoMo]