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The Most-Read Stories of 2013, Told by Ancient Portland

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Anonymous engraver, "Homeowners Battling Invading Sous-Chefs," 1547 (Oregon Historical Society) via @AncientPortland

A look back at Portland's restaurant scene in 2013 is fun and all, but why should previous years be completely lost to history? For the unaware, @AncientPortland — an anonymously written, art-history obsessed Twitter account — offers a hilariously on-point "Guide to the Curious and Notable Ancient Wonders found in the Most Noble City of Portland, Oregon," taking modern-day headlines and giving them a more allegorical spin.

So to toast the most-viewed posts of 2013, Eater turned to @AncientPortland to see how old-school Portlandians would interpret the news of the year. Here now, the 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013, as Told by Ancient Portland:

10) Santiago Kenilworth, To Feed Portland's Hungry, St. Jack Conjures up his Divine Caneles, Macarons, and Croissants. Oil on Canvas, 170 x 186 cm (St. Philip Neri Catholic Church)


9) Alfonse Abernethy, Late Night at the Hotcake House, 1646. Oil on wood panel, 27.3 cm x 26.4 cm


8) Anonymous woodcut, The Vegan Chickens at Fire on the Mountain are Lovingly Hand-Carved by Local Artisans, from Theatrum civitatum Portlandiae (1486)


7) Jean de Charbonneau, The Portlandian Emperor Distributes Schnitzelwiches and Reggie Deluxes to the Poor, 1765, Oil on canvas, 300 x 301 cm (Musée de la Histoire du Sandwich, Lille)


6) Charles Spoonish, The Highly Anticipated Opening of Trifecta, with Its Rustic Tavern-like Atmosphere (Artist's Redition), 1632, Oil on panel, 48 x 66 cm (Private collection)


5) Wm. Marshall, Pearl District Aristocrats Enjoying the Coffee at Christopher David, c. 1752 (Collection of Charlie Hales)


4) Alberto Glisano, Ciao, Vito, We're off to get a $6 Tortilla Española for Happy Hour, 1866, Oil on canvas, 147 x 121 cm (Portland Art Museum)


3) Unknown (Concordian?) Draughtsman, The Big Egg Attracts a Rabid Following, c. 1550 (Oregon Historical Society)


2) Joos van Kenton, Fishwife Unsurprised to Find Herself Among the Most Underrated Portland Restaurants, c. 1672 Oil on canvas, 29 x 26,5 cm (Gresham Museum of Fine Arts)


And finally, the most-read Eater PDX story of the year:

1) Everett Davis, Crowds Hoping to Gain Entry to Multnomah Whiskey Library (detail), 1779, Oil on canvas (Private Collection)


· @AncientPortland [Twitter]
· All Year in Eater 2013 Coverage [Eater PDX]

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