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The Most-Read Stories of 2013, Told by Ancient Portland

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Anonymous engraver, "Homeowners Battling Invading Sous-Chefs," 1547 (Oregon Historical Society) via @AncientPortland

A look back at Portland's restaurant scene in 2013 is fun and all, but why should previous years be completely lost to history? For the unaware, @AncientPortland — an anonymously written, art-history obsessed Twitter account — offers a hilariously on-point "Guide to the Curious and Notable Ancient Wonders found in the Most Noble City of Portland, Oregon," taking modern-day headlines and giving them a more allegorical spin.

So to toast the most-viewed posts of 2013, Eater turned to @AncientPortland to see how old-school Portlandians would interpret the news of the year. Here now, the 10 Most-Read Stories of 2013, as Told by Ancient Portland:

10) Santiago Kenilworth, To Feed Portland's Hungry, St. Jack Conjures up his Divine Caneles, Macarons, and Croissants. Oil on Canvas, 170 x 186 cm (St. Philip Neri Catholic Church)

10.%20Santiago%20Kenilworth%2CTo%20Feed%20Portland%E2%80%99s%20Hungry%2C%20St.%20Jack%20Conjures%20up%20his%20Divine%20Caneles%2C%20Macarons%2C%20and%20Croissants.%20Oil%20on%20Canvas%2C%20170%20x%20186%20cm%20.jpg


9) Alfonse Abernethy, Late Night at the Hotcake House, 1646. Oil on wood panel, 27.3 cm x 26.4 cm

9.%20Alfonse%20Abernethy%2C%20Late%20Night%20at%20the%20Hotcake%20House%2C%201646%2C%20Oil%20on%20wood%20panel%2C%2027.3%20cm%20x%2026.4%20cm.jpg


8) Anonymous woodcut, The Vegan Chickens at Fire on the Mountain are Lovingly Hand-Carved by Local Artisans, from Theatrum civitatum Portlandiae (1486)

8.%20%E2%80%9CThe%20Vegan%20Chickens%20at%20Fire%20On%20the%20Mountain%20are%20Lovingly%20Hand-Carved%20by%20Local%20Artisans%2C%E2%80%9D%20woodcut%2C%201486%20.jpg


7) Jean de Charbonneau, The Portlandian Emperor Distributes Schnitzelwiches and Reggie Deluxes to the Poor, 1765, Oil on canvas, 300 x 301 cm (Musée de la Histoire du Sandwich, Lille)

7.%20Jean%20de%20Charbonneau%2CThe%20Portlandian%20Emperor%20Distributes%20Schnitzelwiches%20and%20Reggie%20Deluxes%20to%20the%20Poor%2C%201765%2C%20Oil%20on%20canvas%2C%20300%20x%20301%20cm%20%28Mus%C3%A9e%20de%20la%20Histoire%20du%20Sandwich%2C%20Lille%29.jpg


6) Charles Spoonish, The Highly Anticipated Opening of Trifecta, with Its Rustic Tavern-like Atmosphere (Artist's Redition), 1632, Oil on panel, 48 x 66 cm (Private collection)

6.%20The%20Highly%20Anticipated%20Rustic%20Tavern-like%20Atmosphere%20of%20Trifecta%2C%201632%2C%20Oil%20on%20panel%2C%2048%20x%2066%20cm%20%28Private%20collection%29.jpg


5) Wm. Marshall, Pearl District Aristocrats Enjoying the Coffee at Christopher David, c. 1752 (Collection of Charlie Hales)

5.%20Wm.%20Marshall%2C%20Pearl%20District%20Aristocrats%20Enjoying%20the%20Coffee%20at%20Christopher%20David%2C%20c.%201752%20%28Collection%20of%20Charlie%20Hales%29.jpg


4) Alberto Glisano, Ciao, Vito, We're off to get a $6 Tortilla Española for Happy Hour, 1866, Oil on canvas, 147 x 121 cm (Portland Art Museum)

4.%20%E2%80%9CCiao%2C%20Vito%2C%20We%E2%80%99re%20off%20to%20get%20a%20%246%20Tortilla%20Espa%C3%B1ola%2C%E2%80%9D%201866%2C%20Oil%20on%20canvas%2C%20147%20x%20121%20cm%20.jpg


3) Unknown (Concordian?) Draughtsman, The Big Egg Attracts a Rabid Following, c. 1550 (Oregon Historical Society)

3.%20Unknown%20%28Concordian_%29%20Draughtsman%2C%20The%20Big%20Egg%20Attracts%20a%20Rabid%20Following%2C%20c.%201557%20%28Oregon%20Historical%20Society%29.jpg


2) Joos van Kenton, Fishwife Unsurprised to Find Herself Among the Most Underrated Portland Restaurants, c. 1672 Oil on canvas, 29 x 26,5 cm (Gresham Museum of Fine Arts)

2.%20Joos%20van%20Kenton%2C%20%E2%80%9CFishwife%20unsurprised%20to%20find%20herself%20among%20the%20most%20Underrated%20in%20Portland%2C%E2%80%9D%20c.%201672%20Oil%20on%20canvas%2C%2029%20x%2026%2C5%20cm.jpg


And finally, the most-read Eater PDX story of the year:

1) Everett Davis, Crowds Hoping to Gain Entry to Multnomah Whiskey Library (detail), 1779, Oil on canvas (Private Collection)

1.%20Everett%20Davis%2C%20Crowds%20Hoping%20to%20Gain%20Entry%20to%20Multnomah%20Whiskey%20Library%20%28detail%29%2C%201779%2C%20Oil%20on%20canvas%20%28Private%20Collection%29.jpg

· @AncientPortland [Twitter]
· All Year in Eater 2013 Coverage [Eater PDX]

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