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On Friday's episode of Portlandia, a group of bearded, tattooed, and angry baristas gathered at NW's Clearing Cafe to lay down a city-wide "coffee shop manifesto," designed "to protect [baristas] as the artists that we are." Eater National has the video and a glimpse of the final 15-item list, which includes rules like "Don't ask me what's playing right now. We are a coffee shop, not a record store." [-EN-]