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Ever pictured Gabriel Rucker sexily stirring polenta? What about Kurt Huffman holding a boudin blanc, or Cathy Whims wandering the night wearing lacy gloves of pepperoni with black-olive buttons? If so, there's something wrong with you, but fortunately, you're not alone... apparently.
A person or group of people is tweeting erotica featuring Portland's best-known food personalities, from reputed chefs and restaurateurs to PR reps, using the @FoodLiterature handle.
Is it literature? Or just a delicious Fifty Shades of Grey rip-off?
Walking away from The Fireside, Chef Jason Blair glanced back at Joey, licked his lips, and winked, "I'll come back for one last taste."
— Food Literature (@FoodLiterature) August 21, 2015
Micah Camden slid his finger around the inside edge of the donut, the glaze dripping, his brow dotted with beads of sweat. His smile, moist.
— Food Literature (@FoodLiterature) August 12, 2015
The sweet/salty touch of the bacon-wrapped date stuffed with foie gras ravished my taste buds. "That's umami," Gorham whispered, lips wet.
— Food Literature (@FoodLiterature) May 14, 2015
"Roll the dough under your hand," Ken breathed, his fingers lacing through mine, pressing our palms into the pale, nubile dough.
— Food Literature (@FoodLiterature) May 15, 2015
Laura put a finger to her lips and smeared the hollandaise across them. She kissed his cheek and left her mark. "We can't do this anymore."
— Food Literature (@FoodLiterature) May 16, 2015
Woodward took the new cook by the hand and walked to the garden. He got down on all fours. "Crawl through the greens with me," he smiled.
— Food Literature (@FoodLiterature) May 20, 2015
Haven't had enough? There's plenty more at @FoodLiterature, with the most recent post dated yesterday. Featuring a profile photo of sausages and a Twitter banner of smoked mussels, @FoodLiterature is currently anonymous. Eater has reached out to @FoodLiterature, but the Twitter feed has not responded. It hasn't featured Eater in any of its tweets either, but we're not taking it personally.
