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I Can’t Stop Thinking About This Puppy Named Michelin Star

She is currently up for adoption in Portland; someone please adopt her for me

A puppy sits in a dog bed on a couch, next to a dog lying down.
Michelin Star, throwing shade.
One Tail at a Time
Brooke Jackson-Glidden is the editor of Eater Portland.

It was love at first sight. Me: A single, twentysomething Portlander who has been casually contemplating adopting a puppy for the last few months. Her: A five-pound, 10-week-old Jack Russell Terrier mix. Her name? Michelin Star.

Michelin. Star.

Okay, so we, as a culture, understand that food names for pets are objectively superior, despite being a little tired. Everyone loves a cat named Onion, a rabbit named Churro, and — of course — a dog named Noodle (RIP). However, standing out in a oversaturated market of Cookies and Dumplings and Mochis can be difficult. Some go for the specificity route; I will never forget meeting a behemoth of a dog named Chicken Parm, for instance. A friend once suggested going in the opposite direction, just naming a pet “Food.” But going with the award route, something food-adjacent but not quite in the typical canon, is forward-thinking, inventive. It’s some professional-name-consultant behavior.

Plus, it acknowledges the truly elite, top-of-her-class quality of this very small puppy, described by Portland dog rescue One Tail at a Time as “confident and inquisitive.” She’s a socialite, mingling with other dogs with ease. She learns quickly, and loves pets. And, y’all, come on. Look at her.

I want to whisk her away from the world of kibble. I want to feed her steaks and free-range chicken and let her sit at the dinner table with me. I want to bake her one of those dog-friendly cakes made with peanut butter and bananas. In my dreams, we go to restaurants together, and I talk to her about how to tell if a pizza crust has over-proofed. She will be my perfect little food writer dog and we will live happily ever after.

Now, obviously, Michelin Star is going to be a very eligible puppy. One Tail at a Time has an adoption approval process that you need to go through first; then, you should apply to be on the Worth the Wait list, which would give you priority in the pool of those applying to adopt Michelin Star. The organization will sort through applications and choose the person the team sees as the best fit for the puppy. Getting into an Ivy is easier, but hello, it’s worth it. Again, look at her.

Take a look at her official listing here; those interested in applying should start here. Ultimately, I have already grieved the fact I will likely not be chosen to adopt Michelin Star; however, if you get to adopt this absolute angel, please start an Instagram for her so we can follow along. She is, after all, a three-star dog.