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Portland's Most Extreme, Meatiest Plates of Meat

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Photo of Sayler's courtesy Facebook

There have been iconic meat dishes, wild game burgers, and barbecue. We've given you platters of charcuterie eye-candy and snapshots of butchers, and now it's time for the absolute most craziest protein extravaganzas we could find in Portland (aka big-ass meat dishes). Since we've been building up our meat tolerance all week, now it's really time to binge — maybe with the 72-ounce steak eating challenge at Sayler's? Get inspired, and bring on the meat sweats:


· All Five Days of Meat Coverage [Eater PDX]

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Rock House grill

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The Dish: Apocalypse NowOne of the first carts to open at Cartlandia offers huge burgers and sandwiches, but what takes the cake in ridiculous meat burgers is the Apocalypse Now combo. Ready? Here goes: eight steak burger patties, ham, chicken, roast beef, bacon, turkey, sausage, Oktoberfest sausage, hot dogs, salami, pepperoni, hash browns, fried eggs, cheese, and the works. It’s more than ten pounds of meat for $75.

Ringside

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The Dish: PorterhouseAt this iconic PDX steakhouse all the delectable slabs of meat are aged a minimum of four weeks. The Porterhouse for two comes with a New York cut and the filet (what they call the “best of both worlds”), which brings you 24 ounces of meaty goodness to share — or not? And all that comes drenched in beef juice-infused butter glaze.

El Gaucho

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The Dish: ChateaubriandAlso known as a 20-ounce steak for two for $125 buckaroos: It’s center cut tenderloin, it’s 28-day dry-aged Niman Ranch all natural angus beef, and it’s seared to a perfect medium rare over a charcoal grill. And it’s carved motherfucking table side. (And for the love of Game of Thrones, order that "Flaming Sword Brochette of Tenderloin" too.)

The Dish: Asado ArgentinoYou know the Denton chef team knows how to grill up their animal protein. For a meat feast at Ox, order the asado Argentino for two. It comes with grilled short rib, housemade chorizo and morcilla sausages, skirt steak, and sweetbreads. As if that isn’t enough protein to fill up a wrestler on bulk week, it also comes with fried potatoes, green salad, bread, and chimichurri. That one will tip the scales.

Podnah's Pit BBQ

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The Dish: The PitbozzWant a pile of barbecue to stuff in your face? You could order a whole rack of ribs, but in the interest of meat variety, "The Pitboss" at Podnah’s has a little bit of everything. That means a quarter pound of brisket, a quarter pound of pulled pork, two pork ribs, a sausage link, cornbread, and choice of two sides — and lots and lots of napkins.

Big-Ass Sandwiches

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The Dish: Pork HammerWell, now we know where Thor will eat when he comes to Portland to save us from the next end-of-the- world-naked-bike-ride. Compared to other items on this list, the Pork Hammer seems like less of a protein bomb, but consider: It comes in at nearly a pound, with a quarter pound each of ham, bacon, and sausage, then topped with french fries and coleslaw. And if you're feeling really strong, order a side of bacon cheese fries too. I doust now dub this the "Asgardian Challenge."

Trifecta Tavern and Bakery

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The Dish: Big-ass steakThe Trifecta Tavern features a "Big-Ass Steak" on its menu (real name), and it's aptly described: It's a solid pound (16 ounces) of 28-day dry-aged ribeye. To add more meat to the party, it's also served with bone marrow.

Nostrana

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The Dish: Bistecca alla FiorentinaNeed some meat to go with your pizza? Nostrana serves a traditional Tuscan steak — the bistecca alla Fiorentina — keeping true to the tradition of it weighing about one kilogram (or 2.2 pounds, equalling about 77 ounces).

Fogo de Chão

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The Dish: Dinner.There are six steps to dining at this Brazilian steakhouse. Step two includes a trip to the “salad bar,” with more than 30 options including imported cheeses, cured meats, and Brazilian side dishes. Then you give the green light — by literally turning over a green card — and that signals “protein time.” You’ll be offered 16 cuts of meat to choose from including steaks, pretty much any way, but think filet mignon and rib eye, along with rack of lamb and pork options.

Sayler's Old Country Kitchen

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The Dish: Steak challenge!This old country kitchen wants to see you work hard for your free steak. Try to fathom eating all of this in under one hour: two celery sticks, two carrot sticks, two olives, two dill pickles, one regular salad, ten french fries or baked potato, oh, and 72 ounces of medium rare beef. As of now, eight lucky ladies and 571 gents have taken it on and massacred that beast, but around 1,300 eager challengers have failed — it’s probably those olives that really did them in.

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Rock House grill

The Dish: Apocalypse NowOne of the first carts to open at Cartlandia offers huge burgers and sandwiches, but what takes the cake in ridiculous meat burgers is the Apocalypse Now combo. Ready? Here goes: eight steak burger patties, ham, chicken, roast beef, bacon, turkey, sausage, Oktoberfest sausage, hot dogs, salami, pepperoni, hash browns, fried eggs, cheese, and the works. It’s more than ten pounds of meat for $75.

Ringside

The Dish: PorterhouseAt this iconic PDX steakhouse all the delectable slabs of meat are aged a minimum of four weeks. The Porterhouse for two comes with a New York cut and the filet (what they call the “best of both worlds”), which brings you 24 ounces of meaty goodness to share — or not? And all that comes drenched in beef juice-infused butter glaze.

El Gaucho

The Dish: ChateaubriandAlso known as a 20-ounce steak for two for $125 buckaroos: It’s center cut tenderloin, it’s 28-day dry-aged Niman Ranch all natural angus beef, and it’s seared to a perfect medium rare over a charcoal grill. And it’s carved motherfucking table side. (And for the love of Game of Thrones, order that "Flaming Sword Brochette of Tenderloin" too.)

Ox

The Dish: Asado ArgentinoYou know the Denton chef team knows how to grill up their animal protein. For a meat feast at Ox, order the asado Argentino for two. It comes with grilled short rib, housemade chorizo and morcilla sausages, skirt steak, and sweetbreads. As if that isn’t enough protein to fill up a wrestler on bulk week, it also comes with fried potatoes, green salad, bread, and chimichurri. That one will tip the scales.

Podnah's Pit BBQ

The Dish: The PitbozzWant a pile of barbecue to stuff in your face? You could order a whole rack of ribs, but in the interest of meat variety, "The Pitboss" at Podnah’s has a little bit of everything. That means a quarter pound of brisket, a quarter pound of pulled pork, two pork ribs, a sausage link, cornbread, and choice of two sides — and lots and lots of napkins.

Big-Ass Sandwiches

The Dish: Pork HammerWell, now we know where Thor will eat when he comes to Portland to save us from the next end-of-the- world-naked-bike-ride. Compared to other items on this list, the Pork Hammer seems like less of a protein bomb, but consider: It comes in at nearly a pound, with a quarter pound each of ham, bacon, and sausage, then topped with french fries and coleslaw. And if you're feeling really strong, order a side of bacon cheese fries too. I doust now dub this the "Asgardian Challenge."

Trifecta Tavern and Bakery

The Dish: Big-ass steakThe Trifecta Tavern features a "Big-Ass Steak" on its menu (real name), and it's aptly described: It's a solid pound (16 ounces) of 28-day dry-aged ribeye. To add more meat to the party, it's also served with bone marrow.

Nostrana

The Dish: Bistecca alla FiorentinaNeed some meat to go with your pizza? Nostrana serves a traditional Tuscan steak — the bistecca alla Fiorentina — keeping true to the tradition of it weighing about one kilogram (or 2.2 pounds, equalling about 77 ounces).

Fogo de Chão

The Dish: Dinner.There are six steps to dining at this Brazilian steakhouse. Step two includes a trip to the “salad bar,” with more than 30 options including imported cheeses, cured meats, and Brazilian side dishes. Then you give the green light — by literally turning over a green card — and that signals “protein time.” You’ll be offered 16 cuts of meat to choose from including steaks, pretty much any way, but think filet mignon and rib eye, along with rack of lamb and pork options.

Sayler's Old Country Kitchen

The Dish: Steak challenge!This old country kitchen wants to see you work hard for your free steak. Try to fathom eating all of this in under one hour: two celery sticks, two carrot sticks, two olives, two dill pickles, one regular salad, ten french fries or baked potato, oh, and 72 ounces of medium rare beef. As of now, eight lucky ladies and 571 gents have taken it on and massacred that beast, but around 1,300 eager challengers have failed — it’s probably those olives that really did them in.

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